


Discord Drabbles

by Imagine_Nation



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, M/M, Multi, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagine_Nation/pseuds/Imagine_Nation
Summary: Exactly what is says on the tin. Amasar Bulqadar belongs to issaMorg and Nijoh'ir Jesyho belongs to Wolfgrowl!
Relationships: Alisaie Leveilleur/Alphinaud Leveilleur/Warrior of Light, Alisaie Leveilleur/Warrior of Light, Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

"<You're good with your hands.>"

Amasar makes a hum of assent but doesn't raise his head, eyes focused on the half-done blanket in his lap. He appreciates Botan's company and the rapt attention that she gives his needlework. It seems to him that she is memorizing every stitch he threads through the fabric, but when he surreptitiously glances at her he realizes it's not quite the needlework he's watching, but the movement of fingers. _She wasn't just being complimentary, huh..._ "<I could teach you if you like.>"

Amasar's offer seems to startle her and she instantly diverts her gaze to the cold stone beneath their feet, expression seeming embarrassed. "<I'd be bad at it. My fingers aren't... aren't good enough.>" She stumbles over her words, her Doman linguistics stunted and unable to say "dexterous" or "nimble", so she settles for the next best thing. Amasar feels a brief surge of sympathy and anger for all that she's missed out on. _Damn the Garleans to the deepest Hells._

The large Xaela lifts a hand to rest it on her head, a gesture he's taken to using when he means to comfort her. "<It just takes some practice and a bit of time. You'll get there eventually.>" He says in a low tone, smiling. The small smile she gives in turn, he supposes, will suffice as a yes.


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of the deactivated guidance node hitting the metal floor hits Botan's horns with a resounding _tang_. She realizes that, in this moment, she is truly alone in this entryway to the Aetherochemical Research Facility, the place that the Archbishop and his tempered knights are more than likely waiting. The Ascians too, no doubt, and though Botan isn't exactly eager to fight any of them, she knows there is no time to waste and much else to lose should she continue to tarry.

She glances at the node again. It only takes the brief thought of Wedge for her to gently place the node -- or Gilly, rather -- against the wall and out of harm's way; she suspects that its role is not yet over, and Wedge will doubtlessly be glad to see it -- _her_ \-- relatively unscathed. Botan smiles underneath her mouthpiece before turning back to the facility's entrance. She takes a moment to breathe, thinking back on how far she's come to get to the point and all the friends she's made.

She hears footsteps approach and a brief, chilly breeze pass by. She can't help but let her shoulders sag in relief. Clearly, she won't be so alone after all. "I trust you would not mind some company," Ysayle says, voice friendly and confident. Botan shakes her head. "Not at all. I welcome it."

With an exchanged look of camaraderie and resolve, the two daughters of Hydaelyn step inside the facility, ready to take down the Archbishop and his palace of lies.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ow! What was that for?!"

Nijoh'ir's exclamation is met with the pointedly disapproving look of Botan, with her eyes narrowed and arms crossed. The miqo'te rubs the spot where she flicked his forehead in a vain attempt to rid himself of the sharp sting. "For being a reckless _fool_ , you and Lord Haurchefant both." Botan scolds. She doesn't notice said elezen wincing. "You shouldn't have chased after the archbishop like that."

"But he was--" " _Already stepping onto his airship_ , Nijoh-nii-san. You would not have gotten to him in time. Plus, did you not find it odd that there were no more knights to block our path on the bridge?" Nijoh'ir blinks. In hindsight, it was rather odd that their path was clear...

It is then that Amasar steps forward and, as is his custom when Botan is upset, puts his hand on her head and playfully ruffles her hair. "Easy, Botan. You did the smart thing, stopping these two." Botan pushes his hand off with an annoyed huff. "Indeed," Haurchefant pipes up, "I suppose I did act with more impulsiveness than was necessary." "That you did, Lord Haurchefant. I shudder to think what would happen had Nijoh'ir lost his future husband."

Nijoh'ir chokes on his own saliva as everyone else stops and stares, processing Botan's words. Taking notice of the sudden silence, she glances around at everyone in confusion. "...What? I thought it was obvious?"

Nijoh'ir's embarrassed mutterings are drowned out by Haurchefant's excited babblings of a possible wedding.


	4. Chapter 4

Not even the underground gladiator pits of Thanalan offers such a gruesome sight.

For as far as her eyes can see, broken and battered and bleeding corpses lay on the ground below. Yet Botan is focused on one in particular, with his gaping mouth and wild eyes, the very picture of one who lost all sense in his final moments. Botan swallows, wrapping her arms around herself as a conversation between the other Scions takes place behind her. So caught up is she in her shock that she doesn't notice a familiar presence approach until a hand moves to pull her away. "<You don't need to look anymore>," Amasar says in Doman as he pulls her close, eyes sympathetic and fatherly all at once. "<...I'm so sorry.>"

Botan says nothing in reply and merely hides her face in his torso just as Nijoh'ir approaches, looking at his adopted little sister with worry. Amasar looks down at Ilberd's body and internally curses the man. _Damn you, Ilberd, for making this happen._

None of them notice Alphinaud's look of concern aimed in their direction.


	5. Chapter 5

It has been a long time since Botan has been able to have a moment of peace. A moment of privacy, of self-reflection. So much in her life has changed in only a few weeks since the end of the Dragonsong War, and a return to her homeland, still occupied by the Garleans, seems to be a genuine possibility now. Much to her own surprise, Botan has mixed feelings about the whole matter. Though she yearns to see Doma once more, and free from the Empire's clutches as she plans to do for Ala Mhigo, she can't deny that she's made a home here in Eorzea, made inseparable friends and staunch allies, Ul'dah and Ishgard not the least among them.

...She's almost afraid to know what she'll find in Doma. Granted, there's been no official confirmation that she'll actually go there at this point, but with Ala Mhigo on the horizon it seems all but certain.

At the very least, she has a chance of seeing her biological family again. If they're still alive.

... _Biological_ family. Now where did such a distinction come from?


	6. Chapter 6

The scene gives Amasar unwelcome reminders.

Bodies littered about, people being cut down left and right, fires burning everything they can reach... But his mind is solely and frantically focused on finding one person in particular. He hears Nijoh'ir approach, out of breath and similarly panicked. "Any sign of her?!" The miqo'te asks as he glances about, desperately looking his little sister. Amasar can only shake his head, unable to find the will to voice his words...

Both men's attentions are suddenly pointed towards a pink blur that flies across their vision and hits the rocky wall. Amasar can only stare in horror as Botan -- _small little flower, wouldn't hurt anyone_ \-- falls to the ground and coughs up a glob of blood. She pathetically attempts to push herself up, but exhaustion and shock from the pain take over as she passes out. Amasar and Nijoh'ir sprint to her side as they ignore everything and everyone else around them. Amasar pulls Botan's small -- _and limp, why isn't she **moving**_ \-- body into his arms, hugging close to his chest. He can't even hear the others run up to his side. "Is she alright?!" Alphinaud's voice is frantic, soothed only when Krile confirms that Botan still lives. The lalafell immediately sets to healing the small au ra as her father-figure and big brother watch anxiously.

"That one has spirit," a voice, smooth and smug and bored all at once, resounds, "but she lacks the desire to win. To conquer. She will die before this war is done."

Instantly, Amasar is filled with an unholy wrath. How dare this man even _touch_ his little girl, how _dare_ he speak of her like she's a mere _gnat_. "...Krile. Take care of her." Before anyone can stop them, the Xaela and Seeker stand as dark auras emanate from them. "We'll take care of this bastard. You get Botan to safety," Nijoh'ir commands. Not willing to stand in their way, everyone else dashes for the infirmary.

Zenos' brow quirks.


	7. Mark Your Words - Solo Version

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you know the cutscene you get when you first arrive in Reunion? Well Botan found the conversation between her allies rather... disrespectful.

"You speak with inconsideration." Botan's voice, unusually firm, startles her companions. Lyse is the first to respond, looking rather shocked. "I-- Excuse me?" "We have not been in the Steppe for more than five minutes and you essentially call the Xaela -- who we have not yet even spoken to, mind -- bloodthirsty?" Botan is not wholly surprised, however, since Lyse has done little else but punch people and wag a loose tongue during their journey. "If what Yugiri says is true, then the Xaela are deserving of more respect than what you are giving them right now. The concept of victory through ritual combat is hardly new to us. Remember when Gosetsu won his freedom in Kugane? Perhaps it is not exactly the same, but it's similar enough."

The other three travelers look down at the ground with some semblance of shame, but Botan is not quite done. "'Not fit for men'? Our own trials have not always been 'fit for men', but we have done them anyway, and you hardly hear anyone calling us barbarians." With a huff, Botan turns on her heel. "Mayhap I should be the one in charge from here on out..."


	8. Mark Your Words - With Amasar and Nijoh'ir

"How can you speak so unkindly?"

Lyse blinks and looks up to see Botan, looking unusually annoyed and -- angry?. "I-- Sorry?" "We have hardly even arrived in the Steppe and you have essentially called the Xaela barbarians." "What-- No! No, I didn't mean that at all!" Lyse protests as she waves her hands in a placating manner, but Botan isn't at all soothed. "Have you forgotten that Amasar is with us? He has not seen his home in _months_ , he is _overjoyed_ to have returned, and this is how you speak of his home? After everything he has done, what you've _made him_ do?"

Lyse and the two Domans both look up at Amasar, whose expression is a mixture of anger, surprise, and _hurt_ , and Lyse immediately feels the guilt wash over her like a bucket of chilled water. "I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." "Nor I," Yugiri pipes up, looking similarly abashed, "my words were most careless." Gostesu only nods in agreement.

The small Raen glances between the three of them with a look of stern disapproval before turning to her father figure, who looks not a little upset. She takes his hand and gives him a sweet smile. "Amasar-nii-san, why don't we take a look around? I would very much like to find out more about your homeland!" And with that they both trot off, with the large Xaela looking a little more relaxed, Nijoh'ir following close behind.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Botan finally reunites with her parents after almost five years of seperation.

When they had heard of a pink-haired Raen taking part in the Naadam, the atmosphere went so quiet that one could hear a feather landing on the grass. Kicho instantly knew that they had to travel to find this Raen who she knew in her heart to be her long lost sister. Her parents had protested, thinking it too good to be true, but Kicho wouldn't hear of it. "It's high time I finally met her," she remembers telling them, "maybe now you two won't be so mopey!"

And with the blessing of the Malaguld -- the ones who had taken her family in before she was born -- the three Raen set out to find the current settlement of the Himaa tribe. Kicho excitedly babbles the whole journey, doing her best not too fidget too much lest she upset her father's horse, but neither of her parents seem to mind.

The journey is a short one, only taking over a day to accomplish, and soon enough Kicho's mother spies an encampment with green-clad Xaela loitering about their yurts, and Kicho can no longer hold back her eagerness as she hops down from the horse and dashes towards the first Himaa she sees. "Excuse me," she calls out loudly, only slightly out of breath from her run, "do any of you know a pink-haired Raen?" The warriors look on in surprise, and a moment of silence follows before one of them stands up and approaches. "Do you know her, little one?" Kicho grins. "Mhm! She's my sister!"

All at once, the large man's expression changes to surprise, then _excitement_ and he promptly excuses himself before dashing off to a yurt in the back. Kicho's mother looks to her husband, looking for all the world like she is trying not to hope too much but can't help herself. "Gosen, do you think...?" She doesn't receive a verbal reply, but Gosen wears a similar expression.

Kicho gasps suddenly and she dashes off once again. Before her mother has a chance to stop her, she sees something _familiar_. White scales, pink hair, and those eyes... When the recognition sets in, she falls to her knees before she can take a proper step forward. But not once does she takes her eyes off of that sweet face she's missed so much.

Kicho, for her part, is not nearly as paralyzed and fearlessly approaches the older Raen girl, who looks every bit as shocked as her mother. "Hi there," Kicho proclaims cheerfully, "I'm Kicho, and I'm your little sister!"


	10. Chapter 10

"We won! Doma is free!"

The symphony of victorious cries reverberate within Botan's horns, and all it once reality comes crashing down on her like a roaring wave. They've won. _They have won_. Her old home is finally free of imperial tyranny, and the sheer relief and joy is enough to make her fall to her knees. The tears begin falling before she can stop them, and she finds herself truly _weeping_ for the first time in _years_. The crowd is too overjoyed to notice the crying Raen girl a few yalms away, but Botan hardly cares about that right now.

She doesn't flinch when she feels a familiar presence approaches from behind, nor does she do so when warm arms wrap themselves around her shoulders. "We won, little bird. We _won_." Nijoh'ir's soft, gentle voice makes Botan sob even harder, and the Keeper simply lets her. She deserves this moment, more than anyone. Amasar kneels down opposite Nijoh'ir and kisses Botan's hair. "You helped get Doma to this point. Be proud."

A brief reprieve from her tears is enough for Botan to finally push some words out. "I-I'm so... s-so _happyyy_..."

And she's happier still, with her brothers by her side in this rare moment of vulnerability, of pure, unadulterated _joy_.


	11. Chapter 11

"General."

Raubahn watches Botan approach with her usual determined stride, shoulders straight and eyes up like any other Flames soldier. The look in her eyes makes it clear that she has something to say, that it needs to be said here and now, and Rhalgr strike him down if Raubahn deigns not to listen. "At ease, lass. No need for formalities here. As far as I'm concerned, we're equals on this battlefield."

Botan only nods, then pauses to think on her words. "...When you found me in the gladiator pits five years ago, I was but a scared, lost child with no one and nowhere to turn. I was all but certain I was going to die there on the bloodsands." Raubahn grimaces at the thought, remembering how _small_ she looked when he first saw her fighting for her a life in a place that she was too good for.

Botan continues. "But then you saw one day, and you decided that I was not only worth saving, but Lady Nanamo took me under her care as a ward of the sultanate so that I would no longer want for anything." Ah yes, how quickly the sultana attached herself to the girl back then. Nanamo had wasted no time in gathering the best tutors so that Botan would learn her numbers and Eorzea's common tongue, nor did Botan slack off in learning. Raubahn smiles at the Raen with a budding smirk. "I have a feeling I know where this is going."

Botan smiles back. "For these long five years, I have been indebted to you and Lady Nanamo, but until now I have not had the means to pay back my debts. It is my hope that by helping in Ala Mhigo's liberation, I will finally be able to repay you."

Raubahn blinks, smiles again, then shakes his head in exasperation. "There's naught to repay, lass. The sultana and I cared for you because we _wanted_ to. But if you're insistent, then consider your debt fully paid and absolved once Ala Mhigo is free."

Botan gives him a winning smile and, with the most flair she can muster, gives him a proper Flames salute befitting a Warrior of Light. "Aye, General!"


	12. Chapter 12

"Even after these long years, you've still kept them."

Nanamo's sudden comment receives a bemused head tilt from her ward. "The earrings," the sultana specifies, "I would have thought you'd have gotten rid of them by now, or they would at least have been destroyed in your many battles." Nanamo suspects she knows the reason why Botan has kept with her for nearly four years -- goodness, how time flies! -- but she would rather hear it for herself.

Botan raises a hand to feel for the earring on her right horn, a small smile growing on her lips as her memories turn to the day Nanamo gave them to her as a gift for recovering the crown. "...I used to consider them precious gifts, and I treated them as such, but now they are more like good luck charms. Though now you mention it, perhaps it is time to set them aside."

The corners of Nanamo's lips quirk upwards before she lowers her head in thought. When her eyes open, they are filled with determination and something akin to pride. "I remember when I first met you. You were so frightened back then, frightened of your past and what you feared it did to you. But now I look at you and I see a girl becoming a woman, one who fights for not just her future, but that of the whole realm." A flicker of what looks like guilt flashes in Nanamo's eyes, one that Botan can't help notice and realize why it even appeared in the first place.

"...Despite what some may say, my lady," Botan speaks, voice firm and strong, "I _chose_ this life. It is a responsibility I bear willingly and with pride. You needn't concern yourself so."

Nanamo can't mask her surprise, but it quickly changes to much more obvious pride as she nods in agreement. "Speaking of choosing responsibility, there is a reason I called you here today..."


	13. Chapter 13

Raubahn's announcement of him being relieved of his responsibilities in Ul'dah, and Pipin taking up his father's mantle, comes as a big surprise to the present Scions. Well, save for Botan, who is more than a little amused at Arenvald and Alphinaud's shocked expressions, both of them open-mouthed with wide eyes. With an affectionate huff, she looks to the sultana. "I take your meeting went well, my lady?"

"Wait, you _knew_?!" Alphinaud asks with even greater surprise than before, and Botan can't help but grin just a little. "Aye. Lady Nanamo made her intentions clear when I visited her in Ul'dah the day before yester." Alphinaud takes the usual poise he does when thinking, mumbling something about the visit before being distracted by Raubahn speaking. "Well, now that I'm no longer Flame General, maybe I can find some mercenary work somewhere..."

"You would have a hard finding anyone who didn't want to snap off your hand, father!" Pipin exclaims, then grimaces. "Er, your _remaining_ hand." Botan can't help but let out a quiet snort. _Indeed, 'twould be most difficult_ , she thinks wryly.

Nanamo barks out a laugh. "Oh yes, the bull need not be put out to pasture just yet," she proclaims, to which she breaks out in a fit of laughter. Botan cannot help but follow suit, mostly out of gladness that her found family are enough at ease to tease each other like this. She can feel a genuine smile grow on her face as she looks on. She takes a quick look at her fellow Scions, only to be rather puzzled at the strange look Alphinaud is giving her. He looks... _dumbstruck_ , is the best word Botan knows to describe the way he's looking at her, with his lips parted and eyes sparkling in an odd way. "...Alphinaud," she attempts, "is something the matter?"

Her question seems to shake the elezen out of his stupor and he promptly attempts to collect himself. "N-No! Everything is fine! Perfectly fine!" His stammered words do little to convince her, but she'll let it slide for now.

Alphinaud, for his part, is doing his very best to not look anyone in the eyes lest they see his reddened face. Thank Thaliak his sister isn't here to tease him, otherwise he may look akin to a rolanberry. And yet, despite his efforts to think about anything, his mind keeps flashing back to the sight of Botan, his most cherished friend, and how her smile made her positively glow, how the setting sun made her eyes look like shining rubies. "...Oh, _bollocks_."


	14. Chapter 14

"...So," Alisaie starts, suddenly looking very much like she's been told a secret that she shouldn't know, "what's this I hear about you having affections for our dearest Warrior?" Her twin promptly spits out his drink, thankfully not in her direction, and she's put into a fit of laughter that attracts the attention of nearly everyone in Rhalgr's Reach.

Once Alphinaud is finished with his coughing fit, he stares at his sister in horror and indignation. "I-I have no idea what you mean!" "Oh come now brother, Nijoh'ir told me everything, such as how you stared at Botan like a fish after seeing her smile." Alisaie gains a shite-eating grin as she watches her brother blush and squirm.

Alphinaud, for his part, can feel utter embarrassment and a tinge of humiliation as he hands his head low. "Ooh, _bugger_..."


	15. Chapter 15

"...Really, Master Slafborn? _Really_?"

The Roegadyn quirks a brow at the unimpressed look Botan is giving him. "I realize that you don't to think of the children as criminals, but--"

"But _nothing_. I know for a fact that those children would never stoop so low as to steal something from Rowena, of all people, especially considered that they take on chores to earn money at any given opportunity. Did the thought of lalafells stealing the grimoire truly not cross your mind?"

Slafborn blinks, stares, then shamefully looks away from Botan's pointed glare. "...No, it did not."

Botan gives an exasperated huff. "I will look into the issue, Slafborn, but with the _help_ of the children, not any sort of accusations. I think we're done here."


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Botan becomes outraged at the gall of some people.

" _No_."

The firm, emphatically spoken word brings everyone's attention to Botan, who is glaring quite hotly in Asahi's direction. Such irritation, Alphinaud notes, is unusual coming from someone who is usually so calm and level-headed. "There will be no _prisoner exchange_ of any sort," Botan continues, standing up as though to make ready to leave, "and _you_ , Asahi sas Brutus, will leave _immediately_."

"Stand down, Botan," Hien commands, attempting to placate the young Raen. "The situation may not be ideal, but it wouldn't do to reject Lord Asahi's proposal outright."

At this, Botan's glare is shifted from the Doma-become-Garlean to the wannabe leader, and even seems to be magnified in a way that Alphinaud, and by extension Alisaie, have not seen before. "Who are you to command me, Lord Hien, when you're the one who so thoughtlessly allowed him in the enclave -- a place where Domans have come to rest and recuperate from the Empire's tyranny -- in the first place? Surely you realize the reason why he's proposed a prisoner exchange at all?"

Hien takes a moment to think on Botan's words and everyone else follows suit. Alphinaud gasps as the realization comes to him. "You believe that he's here for Yotsuyu?" Botan nods as answer. "I do. And I also believe that, wheresoever he may find her, his intentions will bode her ill."

"Please, my lady," Asahi starts, "there is no need for such hostility!" He promptly swallows when Botan glares at him once again. "Nor was there a need for your parents to be so hostile towards your step-sister, and look what happened."

A heavy silence follows as Asahi gapes in shock, clearly trying to figure out how Botan knows that part of his past. Everyone can only feel trepidation at what Botan's outburst may have just cost them. Hien, who has had his eyes closed, now opens them and gives Asahi an apologetic look. "I am afraid that our conversation will have to wait, Lord Asahi. It seems I have much to discuss with my colleagues."

Asahi snaps out of his stupor, swallows, and nods in acquiescence. "...Of course, my lord, of course." He and his Garleans lackeys immediately get up and leave, and the Scions don't see the look of utter _rage_ that overcomes Asahi's face.


	17. Chapter 17

Anger is a double-edged blade. Botan knows this more than most. She has seen what it can do to people. In Ilberd she saw anger become righteous indignation, indignation become vengeance, vengeance become madness. In Yotsuyu she saw a lifetime of abuse and pain culminate into a life of hatred and pettiness. In Zenos she simply saw madness that sometimes came out as primal rage.

With many of her allies, anger is how they express grief. At battles lost, at the deaths of loved ones, and at their perceived failings and flaws. She will not criticize them for it, for it is their right to feel such a way and it is not her place to deny them.

But for Botan, anger is _dangerous_. She has spent so long keeping her emotions in check for the sake of personal preservation that her anger, her hurts, her righteous fury have festered in her heart and created something ugly and mean and _cruel_. It comes in the form of irrational thoughts, _brutal_ thoughts of wanting to crack someone's skull against stone. So, her anger is usually a cold thing, a tranquil fury that makes her voice go quiet and her eyes hard as stone. It results in tightly closed fists and a clenched jaw. She will be the first to admit that her own wrath frightens her because she is afraid that once she lets it out she won't be able to put it back. She has only conquered some of her demons, and she has little time spared to conquer the rest.

She is the Warrior of Light. She has gotten this far by being the hero everyone needs, and she won't let fail them now.


	18. Chapter 18

" _Alisaie_ , put me _down_ ," Botan protests as she attempts to wriggle out of the elezen's hold. But Alisaie's grip is like a steel trap and she simply refuses to budge. "No," she says firmly, "you are staying _right here_ and you are going to _rest_ like you're _supposed to_."

Botan huffs. "I have things to do--" "You can do them later!" "It's better if I do them now--" "No!" "Alisaie I _swear_ \--"

The creak of an opening door stops the argument short as Alphinaud hesitantly peeks inside. He glances between the two women -- his stubborn sister and his similarly stubborn significant other -- and wonders if this is a conversation he should really interrupt. "...Should I return at a later time?"

"Yes!" "No!" The women answer simultaneously, and they briefly glare at each other. "Alisaie refuses to let me go." "Botan needs a break!" "I am _fine_ \--" "You are working yourself to death!" "I am not!" "Are too!" "I am _not_!"

Alphinaud watches the scene unfold, focusing on the fact that Botan is so... _emotive_. He still remembers the days where she was as stiff and social as a block of wood, and scarcely believes that the Raen he sees now is the same one he met then. The two continue to bicker, and Alphinaud decides to indeed return later when they've calmed down. He quietly shuts the door and pads down the hall, chest feeling warm and his heart full.


	19. Chapter 19

There are rare moments that make Botan reminisce, that make her think on how much time as passed. Five years is a long time, and yet not that long at all, and she almost laughs at the contradiction.

The source of the realization is always when she looks at the twins. Not when she thinks of her own progress, not when she thinks of how much the world has changed, only when she looks at the two brightest lights of her life. She distinctly remembers when the two of them were still small -- shorter than even herself -- and impetuous and thought of themselves as wiser and smarter and _better_ than everyone else. Botan, being an au ra woman, has barely grown an ilm taller since five years ago, but the twins have shot up like weeds in that timespan, and the fact that she always has to crane her neck to make eye contact gives her the smallest onze of consternation.

She supposes she misses the days where things were just a _little bit_ simpler, and that the vision of the twins from five years ago are reflections of such melancholy. But she doesn't regret the path she's walked, oh no, and she couldn't be prouder of how far the twins have come, from determined children to admirable warriors and diplomats and whatever else they set their minds to. All Botan is good is punching things.

To think this whole train of thought started out of mild petulance for Alisaie having to lean down just get a kiss on the forehead.


	20. Chapter 20

"This is getting ridiculous," Botan grumbles as she stares at the veritable hill of gifts, given to her from various young warriors throughout the Steppe. Amasar moves to stand beside her and inspects the various hides, packaged meats, preserved herbs, and even jewelry. Behind them, Nijoh'ir absentmindedly munches on some jerky as Mischief chases his white-tipped tail. "You mean to tell me you _don't_ enjoy having your own groupies?" He snickers at the thoroughly unimpressed look Botan shoots at him.

"No, Nijoh-nii, I do not care to have 'groupies'. The only reason I haven't gotten rid of the whole lot of these items is that they can be of practical use." Amasar hums as he picks up a swatch of baras hide, turning it this way and that, determining it's worth. "You could at least give it _some_ thought. These are all of decent quality. I'm sure you could find a suitable partner from these presents."

"I am quite happy with the twins, thank you very much. And no, I do not accept criticism." Nijoh'ir and Amasar share a look of amusement, but say nothing.


	21. Much-Needed Reunion

"And how is business today, Mistress Theva?"

The very second that voice -- comforting and intimately familiar -- hits and reverberates within her horns, Botan jolts up. She bangs a knee against the table in her haste, and the chair scrapes loudly enough to make both elezen -- er, elezen and elf -- noticeably wince. Botan proceeds to nearly trip over herself in the process to rushing towards Alphinaud, and she almost delights in the look of wondrous _surprise_ that colors her dear friend's(?) face, as well as the gasp he lets out when she pulls him into a bear hug.

She feels Alphinaud go stiff, and she can sense the gears whirring in his mind as he processes what just happened. The longer it takes him to reciprocate the hug, the more impatient Botan becomes, and she finds herself whispering out, with as much feeling as she voice, " _I missed you_." She feels him shift, then lean down some to arm his arms around her shoulders. Never has their height difference been such an inconvenience.

Her frustrations and swirling emotions are instantly soothed when Alphinaud gently rubs her back and replies with, "I missed you too."


	22. Chapter 22

It only takes a moment for Botan to approach Baelsar and raise her arms up towards the pliant body that sits in the Garlean's own limbs. A beat of silence passes as Baelsar looks at her with what looks to be confusion before she grits out, " _Give him to me_ , Baelsar. I'll not say it twice."

Another beat passes. Then slowly, much too slowly for Botan's liking, the lanky elezen is deposited in her arms. Carrying Alphinaud would be easier if she were taller, but luckily she doesn't have to continue that train of thought for long, as Alisaie quickly approaches and wordlessly takes her brother herself. Botan simply lets her; she won't deny her companion this.

She follows close behind the red mage as they take Alphinaud to a healer. _Gods above_ , Botan thinks, _why him? It shouldn't be him! I can't--_

_...I can't do this without him._


	23. Chapter 23

Botan doesn't even have a minute to say anything when Alisaie practically charges at her, paying no mind to the fact that Botan is soaked to the bone with sopping wet clothes. The elezen woman's grip is tight enough to bruise, but not enough to make Botan wince, for she knows why her partner is clinging so tightly.

And so, without a word, the shorter of the two wraps her arms around Alisaie's waist and rests her head against her torso just as Alphinaud steps closer, and Botan reaches out a hand, silently allowing him into the embrace. He hesitates, stares at her hand, and then slowly takes it in his own before he is abruptly pulled forwards. He feels Botan's hand cling to his wrist. Silence passes before someone speaks again. "...When you didn't come up after us, I thought--" Alisaie takes a shuddering breath. "I thought you were _gone_." Botan hears an immeasurable terror in the other woman's voice and feels senses that Alphinaud feels the same, judging by the way his expression darkens.

Botan smiles to herself, touched to her heart by the depth of the twins' love. "...I am sorry for frightening you," she says eventually, and Alphinaud chooses that moment to hug her himself. "...All is forgiven," he whispers, smiling, and Botan feels herself relax for the first time in weeks.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An AU in which the Eulmoran forces got too close to the castle, and Botan was forced to make a life-changing choice.

The first thing that happens when Botan steps out of the castle is a stunned silence. Such a reaction is natural when Botan is so changed. No longer a diminutive warrior, but now a resplendent King of the Fae.

She almost can't bear to look at everyone's faces, but she forces herself to anyway because if not now, then not later either. She parses through the changes in their expressions as they process what they're seeing. The only positive reaction she sees is from Minfilia, who is gazing at her with what looks to be awe. Thancred simply looks shocked, and Urianger seems more... _sorrowful_ than anything. But the twins, and her brothers...

The four of them look _horrified_.

Alisaie is the first to react, falling to her knees with a loud wail and punching the ground with all the rage and despair she can muster. Alphinaud stumbles and falls against a pillar, and Botan can see the gears whirring in his mind as he digests what has happened. Nijoh'ir has moved to hold Alisaie in his arms, both to calm her and to keep himself from falling apart. Amasar, though, simply stares with an unreadable expression, white eyes meeting pink ones.

" _NO_! No, no, _NO_!" Alisaie shrieks. "This-- _This_ wasn't supposed to happen!! You-- Y-You weren't supposed to--!!" She wails again, unable to form anymore coherent sentences. Alphinaud has started shedding tears of his own, and Nijoh'ir seems to be shaking, though Botan can't tell if it's with rage or with grief.

Feo Ul's tiny body, which Botan holds to her bosom, is the only thing keeping her grounded. A flock of green pixies float upwards and she quickly hands off her branch to them before turning back to her friends and family. Botan swallows and walks -- doesn't float, _walks_ \-- to Alisaie and kneels down as low as she can go. The Warrior of Darkness and Light is at a loss for anything diplomatic or wise to say. Eventually, she finds the courage to speak what is now her deepest wish.

"...Forgive me. Please, _forgive me_."


End file.
